Despite living only half an hour a way, my knowledge of Knebworth is slightly limited. In fact, it could be summed up as "is that where they have loud shouty bands outside?" (I am, as you can see, a loss to the music journalism profession).
In fact, there are 25 acres of garden, but as a parent you may never get to see them. This is down to a chronic lack of planning in the site layout. Picture this: you have driven in the car for some way, then sat in a queue to enter the grounds, the children are bored and restive when suddenly, on your right, emerges a huge adventure playground. Now imagine how easy it is persuade everyone that what they really want to do is keep driving until you reach some gardens. You see the problem?
I would recommend either blindfolds or a well timed cry of "Was that a pack of giant jelly babies I just saw running through the trees on your left?". As it was, I had to rely on food-related bribery and a promise of returning to 'Fort Knebworth' later on (it was a slow day on the creativity front when they named that one).
The gardens themselves are not the most spectacular and seem a little disjointed but there was still enough to keep the kids occupied for at least an hour or two.
Best bits for kids
Dino trail - 72 life sized dinosaurs are lurking in the woods. This was fascinating for the children but a little disturbing for their mother who still remembered hiding behind her cinema seat during Jurassic Park. However, there's nothing so effective as a blousy backdrop of Rhododendrons to calm the nerves.
Maze - A cliche, yes, but still popular. It was quite a low hedge and relatively uncomplicated so probably best for smaller children.
Carvings - Never have I seen so many weird carvings in one place. Fairy castles, totem poles, crocodiles, warriors - there seemed to be no rhyme or reason to their creation or placement but the children loved them. I was just surprised there was no spotter's sheet for the kids to mark off their finds.
Mound - Don't underestimate the power of a mound - especially to people living so close to the fens. We are easily pleased...
Pollarded Lime Alleys - These apparently exuded a call only audible to children under 8 - "That's right, come to us and run away from that woman they call mother And, yes, screaming too. Screaming would be good".
But just remember, when questioned about their day afterwards, the children will say only this - "We went to Knebworth Fort and ate ice creams".
The way this was written had me smiling as I could imagine every scenario you describe.
I have two boys who would love to visit.
Posted by: Brian | June 06, 2011 at 01:13 PM
That sounds like a good day out. I remember taking my two to a dinosaur place near Tenby and we were scared rigid when one of them growled at us - pathetic really!
Tatton has a huge adventure playground by the car park luckily mine were far too old to consider this just adopted the teenage stoop as I dragged them to the Japanese Garden
Posted by: Helen | June 06, 2011 at 08:48 PM
Sounds just the kind of place I would have wanted to go to when I was little - and my parents would have said 'Another day'.
The picture at the top didn't load straight away. I thought it was a pictureless post then, suddenly, after I'd begun to read, the page jerked back to the top and the dinosaur jumped out at me.
Will you go back - or will the children demand only that anywhere is ok as long as there are ice-creams?
Funny the way mounds call.
Esther
Posted by: Esther Montgomery | June 09, 2011 at 10:05 PM
Hope mentioning you on today's post for Esther's Boring Garden Blog is ok.
http://esthersboringgardenblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/vacuum-cleaning-and-runaways.html
Let me know if not and I will change it.
Esther
Posted by: Esther Montgomery | June 11, 2011 at 03:36 PM
Wow I don't about my daughter but I personally would love the dino trail, I'm such a kid!
Posted by: Sarah | June 11, 2011 at 09:35 PM
Brian - Take them! It's perfect boy fodder.
Helen - Yours growled? I now feel our dinosaurs weren't really trying hard enough *adopts stroppy teenage stoop of her own*
Esther - That was my ode to Jurrasic Park. Just be thankful it wasn't a velociraptor lurking at the top of the post. Not sure we'll rush to go back - I haven't got dino-obsessed kids and the rest of the gardens weren't enough of a draw for a return visit. (And, of course, I am completely honoured to get a mention on Esther's Boring Garden Blog!)
Sarah - You are braver than me (which, admittedly, isn't saying much).
Posted by: Dawn | June 13, 2011 at 11:04 AM