Hill starts, porch demolisions and flatlanders

I do love a good hill. 

This penchant may have something to do with my early years in South Lincolnshire where the territory is so flat you can see people approaching from at least 10 miles away and no-one learns to do a 'hill start' in their driving test because such things are assumed to be a fictitious invention.

So hills became to me an exotic landscape seen only on annual holidays and in picture books.

This may explain why I built my own.

Well, OK, it's not my own, and I didn't build it, but I did put one in the design for our local playground. You see, whilst I'm no longer a resident 'flatlander' we're in a landscape that doesn't exactly undulate, it just has the odd wrinkle.

And so we created a 20 metre long mound at the far end of the playing fields.  It was actually a useful money-saving tool as it got rid of spoil and subsoil from the creation of the village cemetery extension (I'm not sure why it's been extended - perhaps we're all looking a bit sickly).  This was then built up in carefully compacted 50cm layers - and then finished with a layer of topsoil all over.

Then, last weekend, I laid 135 square metres of turf over it.

This was slightly stressful - partly because the mound is really a little too steep in places and it was sometimes more 'avalanche-prevention' than 'turfing' - and partly because the turf delivery lorry had managed to demolish someone's porch (not exactly winning hearts and minds with that one).

Still, the porchless gentleman was unbelievably gracious about the whole incident and the turf did eventually stay put.

The steepest part of the mound should eventually house a climbing wall as well as a double width slide and possibly even a tunnel through, but at the moment we have no funds so it is just a mound. Still, this is, in many ways, a perfect piece of play equipment as children are strangely drawn to run, roll and race down anything more than a slight incline.

I just hope the turf gets a few weeks to anchor itself first - and that no-one from South Lincolnshire decides to come and practice their hill starts here.

Comments

[twitter.com/countrygate]

Like, like, like this 'longbarrow'- despite a childhood devoid of flatness in every respect on Preseli Hills. Hill starts were covered in the first driving lesson!

[elizabethm]

I remember your tweet about the demolished porch! This looks perfect for running up and running down again. I'm not sure I could live happily in an area without hills. I'm a bit addicted.

[Dawn]

Countrygate - How did I not spot it's Longbarrow nature before? Perhaps we can forget about the cemetery extension and just go Viking in future.

ELizabeth - Having seen the photos of your hills, I understand the addiction - it's like viewing landscape porn.

[Plantaliscious]

Never mind the children, I want to play on that myself! Hope you get the dosh for a tunnel, that would make it perfect...

[Avis W.]

It'll make for some safe sledding for the little ones in winter! ;-)

[JamesA-S]

I have nailed turf to the side of hills before now.
Works a treat.
As regards the tunnel you could learn a lot from the Chilean miners or (if looking for that fashionable retro look) by watching The Great Escape.
The children could dig the tunnel with spoons and distribute the excess soil around the village via bags concealed in their trousers*

*NB This technique will not work if they are wearing skinny jeans or Jeggings.

[Mark D]

That looks like a lovely hill...or is it more of a ridge? Either way, I'd very much like to pull a cheeky wheely off the end of it. Are we allowed?

[Dawn]

Plantalicious - Unfortunately dosh is proving tricky. Still, they can just pretend they have a tunnel and expand their imaginative skills.

Avis - Ah yes, sledging - although it must be remebered we get an average of about 3 hours snow a year so this could be a rare occurrnence.

James - How shocking - you've actually left a very useful comment. I was thinking tent pegs and worrying if I had enough, but now I realise nails may prove the answer. Genius!

Unsure of the Great Escape plan - but I will start training the village kids on whistling techniques just in case.

Mark - I went down yesterday to find a few suspicious marks on the hillside. Have you been there already on your chopper?

[Esther Montgomery]

Coincidences here.

My father was a Vicar. When we moved to a parish in the country, there was a mound just like this in the garden. Apparently, the wall of the cemetery had fallen into the ditch by the road and a previous incumbent had decided to bring the earth which tumbled down into the vicarage garden to 'look after'.

One of the first things my father did when we moved in was to barrow the earth back to the churchyard, collecting human bones as he dismantled the pile and storing them in a biscuit tin until he had enough to warrant digging a hole and re-burying them.

Your mound does look rather like a tumulus.

Esther