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January 08, 2010


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Viv Groskop

Utterly terrifying on all levels.


Just don't volunteer to direct any pantos.

Arabella Sock

When I saw your twitter I thought which out of the many annoying Archers characters could you be? If you read the BBC Archers Messageboard you will find that probably only Jazzer and Kenton are less than hated and that in comparison to Wor Ruthie and Fag Ash Lil, Lynda Snell is really quite popular.

Well done!


What a blog title. I was just going to bed but couldn't resist so I am still here. I quite like the Wicker Man idea but have no truck with fear of composting toilets. I wonder if you should practise saying no for a bit - you may be risking overload there. x

Joanne Roach

Well done on getting something agreed - not easy. Maybe if you'd proposed a green burial ground? Ahem.
Your photo is so uncannily similar to our field (also in consultation for a revamp) that I thought you'd decamped here! There must be a factory somewhere that makes village hall fields.


Reckon you should contact GW or RHS or similar to see if they will commission you to write a series of articles about the transformation. You never know they might say yes


Viv - you speak the truth

HM - To be fair I leave the Am Dram to my other half - he looks better in tights...

Arabella - Surely no one can find Lilian annoying - she's my favourite character by far. Shula, however, that's another matter...

Elizabeth - I'm a massive fan of composting loos but round here they are considered the devil's work.

Joanne - If I'd proposed a green burial ground, I guarantee I would have been the first resident!

Helen - nice idea - might try that one!


Lilian's my favourite too and I'm also with you on Shula.

Esther Montgomery

Shula and Helen get my high-irritation-factor vote. Annette too.

I think a test might be how many people would mind if someone were to disappear. Linda Snell might be a pain but, if she were to die, the whole village would go into deep mourning.

Do you remember Aunt Laura?

I wish you could come and rescue our local playground. When it was put there, a 'consultation van' arrived. You could climb aboard and look at a map of what would be there - two swings, three stepping stones, one basketball net and a climbing frame.

I asked where the trees and bushes would be. The man with the map asked where I would be planting them. Who? Me? Personally? - Yes. I declined the offer so there are no trees. I asked where the benches would be. "You think there should be benches?" - For parents with small children. - The idea came as a surprise to him. He hadn't thought of benches. Would I start fundraising for benches? No.

Apparently, providing us with a desolate space was seen as a way of bringing us together as a community. A neighbour organised two fetes - which raised money for one round-about, a notice board and two traffic signs. Then she got ill and had to stop.

So - one (almost) empty waste waiting for lots of money and diggers and designers.

How can you have a park without trees?


Wish I was Lillian but I'm more Jill Archer with a smattering of Clarrie Grundy and Kate Aldridge thrown in for good measure. Work that one out!
I am happy to direct the panto celebration though... provided it doesn't clash with Pride and Prejudice of course.


Thursday - we should form the Lilian Under-rated (Supporters and Helpers) group - LUSH for short

Esther - Trees AND benches? Blimey, you don't ask for much do you? You've got a notice board for heaven's sake - surely you can't need anything more.

Countrygate - why don't we combine and do P&P in panto form...
"Where will I find an eligible man of good fortune?"
"He's behind you!"


Oh Dawn, Dawn,Dawn..don't do things like that without asking.
It is always an enormous mistake to try and design something to satisfy an entire community. Everybody will always band together and try to kill you. Your supreme efforts and immaculately rendered drawing will be trampled underfoot by muddy villagers who will all want something different.
Especially if toilets or dogs are involved.
I am, however, thrilled by your Trim trail. They were (probably still are) terribly popular in Germany where various picturesque woodland trails were besmirched by parallel bars and scaling walls (like the assault course in Officer and a Gentleman). I hope you will be often seen availing yourself of the facilities.


James - they can't kill me, otherwise they'd have no booking clerk for the Village Hall, no-one to organise the Christmas Quiz... or the barn dance... or indeed, the impending 80s night. Otherwise, yes, I would be a dead woman.

And no, I shall not be going near any parallel bars - I have the upper body strength of an asthmatic octogenarian.


Bloody hell, you really are Linda Snell.
You have colour coded files and a clipboard, don't you?

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