It has been a week of ups and downs here. Admittedly, not of roller coaster proportions but more akin to driving slightly too fast over a hump-backed bridge.
The down has to do with chickens.
This, some of you may recall, was one of the many failed resolutions from last year that I was planning to atone for this month by, at last, getting a chicken house and starting work on my WIR (walk in run - thanks to Jane Perrone for my new favourite three letter acronym). Then a friend pointed out that I might want to double check on the toxicity of yew to chickens, as a hedge of it would border the entire run.
Pah! I thought. No problem! Birds are OK with yew - in fact it's their penchant to eating the berries which help the plant spread. Of course, I do know it's poisonous to humans - and much livestock for that matter. I'll admit, I only know about that second group because of an episode of The Archers where some of David Archer's cows were killed after eating dumped hedge clippings. As an aside, this was a typical Archers storyline because it gave David the chance to do what he does best - sound both world-weary and exasperated whilst at the same time adopting the role of rural vigilante - a kind of Charles Bronson in wellies. Indeed, in my head he will always be "David Archer: Badger Killer!". But I digress...
Sadly, it turns out yew is poisonous to chickens and, although they would probably avoid it and other harmful plants whilst roaming free, having it constantly at their disposal may well be pushing my luck. As my son has already been reduced to a blubbering wreck by the death of his Triops and Stanley the Sea Snail, if I also manage to poison his chickens it might be the final straw.
On a happier note, I have, this week, been spraying a lot of white lines. This is more exciting than it sounds (not a hard feat) as the purpose was to layout the 300 metres of path about to be added to our village playground as well as deciding on the spots for the hard surface playing area, BMX track, double slide, climbing wall, picnic tables and bird nest swing. Yes, this week sees work begin on the final £45,000 stage of this redevelopment, made possible by a grant from WREN.
Being me, I'm more excited about plans to leave some small sections of the field unmown to encourage wildlife and gain a more interesting looking site, but I have a feeling the children will prefer the play equipment. Tsk, kids these days!
The work should take about four weeks so I will update you on progress as it goes. So far, we're on Day 2. Sadly Day 1 was mostly taken up with the site manager carefully respraying somebody's very shoddy white lines...
If I was slightly more tedious i'd waste this comment space telling you how apparently delicious yew berries are although the seed is terribly poisonous, but fortunately I'm far to exciting for that.
And thank you for clearling up the WIR thingy - I saw Jane's tweet and your replies and thought it must be some great dosiness on my part for not knowing what it stood for. TOIWALOMUC (turns out it was a load of made up cobblers)
Posted by: Mark D | January 27, 2012 at 04:29 PM
Yep... The Bedsock and I always refer to him as 'the badger killer' too
Posted by: Arabella Sock | January 27, 2012 at 04:35 PM
I always want to like Tony Archer. Bring back Nigel! It was all a bad dream. I'm running out of people to like.
And I'm in the wrong kind of mood. I'm now imagining you've been marking out white lines for athletic chickens to run between. Ready, steady, go!
Posted by: Esther Montgomery | January 27, 2012 at 06:32 PM
Re: the white lines - you just can't get the staff these days, can you...
Posted by: Potty Mummy | January 27, 2012 at 09:04 PM
A Yew berry is delicious but slightly sticky and gelatinous. The secret is to remove the flesh then spit out the seed. I was demonstrating the palatability of Yew berries to a rather smart client but, unfortunately, when it came to the spitting bit the trajectory was fouled by the gooey flesh and it ended up hanging off my chin.
Which rather dented the wise and all knowing impression I was trying to give.
Posted by: James A-S | January 28, 2012 at 11:01 AM
Mark - You? Tedious? Never! I find your tales of berries endlessly fascinating. MBLS (Might be lying slightly)
Arabella - it is the only acceptable form of address in the circumstances
Esther - In my opinion, Tony can never be forgiven for siring Helen. And don't let Tom Archer read your idea abot chicken races - he'll give his pigs the starter pistol and it'll be a viral hit before week is out.
Potty Mummy - I have had stern words with myself. I'm hoping it will do the trick.
James - Hat, or no hat, even you would have trouble making that look work. Did you eat worms as an encore?
Posted by: Dawn | January 28, 2012 at 12:47 PM
I think chicken are overrated, my sister was terrified of hers, they became very aggressive and wanted to get in the house. Although this may be as a reaction to being called Sage & Onion. Get a tiny pig instead - then you can house train it!!
Posted by: Helen | January 28, 2012 at 06:49 PM
I think the berries are colorful that's why they got the attention of the chicken. But I'm just thinking are the berries poisonous?
Posted by: garage equipment | January 29, 2012 at 02:52 AM
Helen - my husband would agree with you. After some teenage related trauma, he is convinced hens are 'evil'.
GE - See James' comment - messy more than poisonous apparently, but the seeds are certainly viscious (and hens have a tendency to grind these I believe which is not a good combination). However, it's actually the needles/leaves I worry about - they're also poisonous and would be the main "green temptation" next to the run.
Posted by: Dawn | January 31, 2012 at 08:15 PM