I have been suffering from impetigo. Don't know what that is? Neither did I. In fact, if Robert Robinson had given me option, Call My Bluff style, I would have opted for "one of the smaller islands of the Bocas del Toro Archipelago". But no, it is a bacterial infection which I am at least 35 years too old to get and which has resulted in my face resembling that of an early plague victim.
I'm not great with such things. I still remember developing what can only be described as a mountainous zit within my first week of starting university. My solution was not to leave my room for a fortnight. Sadly, this sort of option is not afforded to a mother of three, so I have continued to do the school run without even a paper bag to hide my shame.
More worrying still, I am due to give a talk on Sunday at the Ideal Home Show where there will be six, yes SIX plasma screens to capture, enlarge and then replicate my facial disfigurement to the lucky attendees.
Nice.
Consequently, I am swallowing antibiotics at regular intervals in the hope that I will appear more garden designer than Doctor Who extra.
Oh, and I've also been so under the weather that I haven't quite finished putting together my talk.
But this is where I think you can help. Yes, that's right, I am asking for some feedback from you lovely people. My talk is on 'Creating the Perfect Family Garden' and this is a subject I could happily witter on about for days. But as I only have half an hour, I'd like to know what you consider to be the essential elements to a family garden. What could you not do without? What's your favourite feature - either in your own garden or something you've seen elsewhere? And most importantly, what are the biggest problems you've faced in creating your own family garden?
Come on, take pity on me. If not, I may swap the picture of our crocus ring for an image of my face.
You have been warned.
i think impetigo sounds like a pudding, an old English fave now out of fashion. Best with brown sugar sprinkled on
#callmybluff
Posted by: MarkD | March 23, 2011 at 10:56 AM
MarkD - Brilliant. I have been trying to think of another alternative all morning. Nearest I got was a South African tribal dance, usually performed with spears.#callmybluff
Posted by: Dawn | March 23, 2011 at 11:00 AM
Poor you – ok, for what it's worth, my idea of a perfect family garden would include a sunken trampoline, some kind of den/wild area for them to hide/make camps in and a lovely big table where you can all eat. Oh, and a fire pit.
Most importantly, you need a big shed so you can hide away all the brightly coloured tat occasionally and pretend to yourself that you have a serene garden unstrewn by plastic things made in China.
Posted by: Alex M | March 23, 2011 at 11:01 AM
Alex - Ah yes the plastic tat. I shall definitely have to address that. Also, you've convinced me fire pits will have to feature. I'm also a fan.
Posted by: Dawn | March 23, 2011 at 11:39 AM
I think somewhere where kids can make dens and have a sense of exploring is important. My two always wanted a treehouse. But tunnels, hidden corners etc good idea
Posted by: Helen/patientgardener | March 23, 2011 at 12:06 PM
Helen - Yes, of course, lovely idea. After all, the kids must have somewhere to plot the revolution.
Posted by: Dawn | March 23, 2011 at 12:12 PM
Our children adored their sand pit - don't know if those are still PG or 'safe' enough nowadays.
They also want places where they can hide, play 'house' etc. which are definitely out of bounds to grown-ups. Kids are given so little chance, these days, to get away from minders and well-meaning parents, and run wild, take risks or go adventuring.
We did nature big time, too, in our garden. We had toad dens - slab over concave sand - nettles for peacock & tortoiseshell caterpillars, slow worm habitats, and, when they were old enough, a pond with really wild things in it. No big fish; lots of sticklebacks, water beetles, dragonfly nymphs and pond skaters.
None of our children wanted to grow things - don't know why - but they loved us growing fruit which they remorselessly scrumped the whole time.
Posted by: Nigel Colborn | March 23, 2011 at 12:18 PM
Sorry - I meant PC, not PG!
Posted by: Nigel Colborn | March 23, 2011 at 12:19 PM
At the risk of being ex-communicated by gardeners everywhere my must-have is our plastic grass (aka. artificial turf). We live in a new build with a bog for a back lawn that the kids just couldn't play on. After several years of trying various methods to improve the drainage, we gave up. Now the kids can play, it looks like we have a perfect lawn all year round and I can concentrate on planting up some lovely borders and growing stuff in my greenhouse. Lush! PS. Got the spotter sheet working - hubby has computer set up like Fort Knox apparently!
Posted by: Louise | March 23, 2011 at 12:43 PM
I would def go with a pond so they can go pond dipping and watch tadpoles become frogs, etc. I read somewhere that its the kids who don't have ponds in their gardens who are more likely to come to harm when they come across one - if that makes sense. Kids who grow up with ponds know about the dangers of ponds. Kids who don't are fascinated by naighbours'/friends' ponds and thus put themselves in danger...
Also trees, if the garden is big enough, so the kids can climb them/have a treehouse in them, and a swing. You gotta have a swing.
Posted by: Kate B | March 23, 2011 at 01:08 PM
Nigel - we have an enormous sandpit and I wouldn't be without it. Had no idea how to make toad dens - will have to try that one. And yes, completely agree on the 'space for adventure' idea. Fruit also seems to be a reucrring theme in tweets from people so think I will include ideas of getting productive trees into even the smallest garden.
Posted by: Dawn | March 23, 2011 at 01:24 PM
Louise - funny you should say that as I was definitely going to feature artifical grass. The modern stuff is very realistic looking and, like you say, sometimes it's the perfect answer. Thanks (and so glad you got the spotters sheet working
Kate - I think you make a really good point about ponds - it's the same with poisonous plants. I do have some that are theoretically harmful in my garden but the kids know to take care. I would also like to put in a small pond - but possibly when the boys get beyond the 'wildlife torturing' age.
And yes, gotta have a swing!
Posted by: Dawn | March 23, 2011 at 02:53 PM
My children love empty pots that they can fill with soil, little grape hyacinths that they can pretend are dolly grapes and climbing on the wooden railway sleepers that surround our raised bed. They love obstacle courses made up of jumps made from old bamboo sticks and having the hose on for half an hour at a time and soaking the washing on the line and anyone who comes near. I think children could create fun in a concrete yard if left to it, but I think the thing that I have found works best with them is giving them a sense of involvement and choice in what we plant.
Http://mixmashandmunch.blogspot.com
Posted by: Alex | March 24, 2011 at 09:35 AM
For my own children we carved out two small beds shaped as their initials. We dug ponds the size of puddles and added 'tasteful' (not)ornaments. Then, when we were at plant fairs they used to buy little things for their own gardens.
Also, I sowed a square of cornflower meadow mix for them to pick flowers and watch insects.All on little scale in our big garden.
For boys and outdoorsy girls mud pies are essential, if you are under 2 you might try and eat it too.
Posted by: Ursula | March 24, 2011 at 06:41 PM
I asked my kids (older teenagers), and here's their list:
Trampoline
Firepit
Somewhere to put a tent
Treehouse or tree platform
Swing
NO PLANTS! (Because then they would never have to go round gardens/nurseries with me.)
I think they were kidding about the last one. I hope so.
Posted by: Victoria | March 24, 2011 at 10:35 PM
Ursula - I imagine, if you're under 2, 'if' doesn't come into it. Comsumption of mud pies is surely obligatory. Thank you for the wonderful feedback.
Victoria - I was kind of hoping you would leave a comment as I know you have a handle on the 'teenager garden market'. If they weren't joking about the last point though, I hope you threatened disinheritance at the very least. No plants indeed!
Posted by: Dawn | March 26, 2011 at 09:36 PM
A rope swing for older children, sunken trampoline sounds great and I would love to replace all the plastic stuff we have with a nice large wooden sandpit and one of those wooden multi-play things. Although an area of gravel seems to amuse my two for hours so I guess they're not fussy! They love digging the soil and are starting to learn not to pull the heads off my flowers straight away!
Posted by: Damo | March 29, 2011 at 06:56 AM
Damn.
I think I am too late to give you the benefit of my extreme wisdom.
Still, I am sure you spoke beautifully.
I find that, when giving lectures while afflicted by some sort of facial impostor, the best solution is distraction.
Try leaving some buttons unfastened or (in the case of gentlemen) your flies undone. People then are not tempted to let their eyes stray from the floral images that you are projecting.
Works well provided you do not wish to be asked back.
Posted by: JamesA-S | March 31, 2011 at 07:53 PM
Damo - Damn! Why didn't you put this down earlier. I completely failed to list 'patch of gravel' in the kids top 10 toys!
James - NOW you tell me. You see this is why you must never leave the country.
Posted by: Dawn | April 01, 2011 at 03:16 PM