Kids' garden gifts, control freaks and Advocaat

"I want an electric toothbrush and a hula hoop, and a DS with Nintendogs, some wax, and chocolate and socks".

Thus reads my 5-year-old son's Christmas list (well, at least after I've corrected a few imaginative spellings).

I like it.  It has a certain eclectic flair the way it veers from middle aged man, to techno geek, via preening adolescent and 1950s skittish school girl. Plus, I know he will be as happy with some stripy socks as he will with the Nintendo.

That is why kids are a pleasure to buy for.

Adults - that's another matter. I loathe buying gifts for them.

Admittedly, I do have some particularly tricky ones to deal with. First my father, for whom you can really only buy Terry's Bitter Chocolate, hunks of stilton cheese, or most bizarrely of all, a bottle of Advocaat.

Then there's my mother, the uber control freak, who will pointedly say "I wouldn't mind that for Christmas". This would be immensely useful if it wasn't for the fact these utterances always occur sometime in late July when no-one is really thinking about Christmas (except, obviously, my mother who gets a little uncomfortable if all presents aren't purchased, wrapped and filed away neatly in the loft by October at the latest.)

Worst of all, my eldest brother, for whom I now buy nothing as he is the least diplomatic present recipient I've ever known "Why on earth did you buy me THAT?", "I've already got it.","Why did you think I'd want THIS?"... you get the picture.

So my advice - ignore adults and indulge the kids. Plus, let's face it, their stuff is far more fun.

In honour of this, and for anyone as behind as I am in their Christmas preparation, I've selected my favourite kids' gardening gifts.

1.Reindeer Poo in a Box - £5. Yes. Seriously. Kids can not only grow their own Christmas tree in odourless reindeer dung but they also get to legitimately use the word "poo" every time an adult asks "What did you get for Christmas?".  Genius.

2.Soft Play Gardening Set - £25. A great way to keep the destructive younger gardener entertained with 14 soft play pieces including three pots with removable soil and flowers, a watering can, trowel, rake. seed bag and a garden storage bag.

3.Wooden vegetable plant markers - £10.99 for four. Choose from 12 designs and your kids will have something good to look at in the veg patch even in this weather.

4.Water diviners - £6.95. Cheaper than metal detectors and more amusing as a spectator sport. They might even prove useful in a drought...

5. Cornflower blue window box  £8.49. The perfect size to add some flowery charm to playhouses.

6. Giant garden pick up sticks £10.99. I create this game myself every time I try to get a bamboo stake out of the shed although the kids find it less fun

7. Forest Pirate Galleon £499.95. More play ship than play house, which is no bad thing.

8. Grow your own pet food £2.45. Get the kids to grow their pet some food.  More exciting than cleaning out the cage. Available for dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters, canaries, budgies, guinea pigs, chinchillas, iguana, tortoise and gnus (OK, I made that last one up)

9. Windowsill seed kit - microleaves £9.95 Grow green things which are not sprouts. Always a good plan.

10. Children's giraffe growbag planter £14.95 - Great for growing climbing plants. Less good for growing giraffes.

 

Comments

[lickedspoon]

Damn it, I thought what I wanted was Aqua di Parma, a Smythson diary and a load of books, but now what I really, really want is a Forest Pirate Galleon. Is it too late do you think?

[Dawn]

Lickedspoon - It is never too late for a Forest Pirate Galleon. Plus, it's really amusing watching the postaman try and deliver it.

[Karen - An Artists Garden]

Someone gave us Reindeer poo in a box last year - I still have it sitting on the self above my desk - it is not only children who enjoy saying poo when asked what they were given for Christmas.
:)

Also - (slightly late) very well done on the two new shiny green awards - well deserved I am so pleased for you
K

[Elephant's Eye]

I'll have the cornflower blue window box please Santa. Love that colour!

[Janet/Plantaliscious]

Drat, I really wanted to grow a giraffe... We have a family agreement not to do presents for the adults, just the kids. Much less stressful, and no one winds up with stuff they didn't want/need. Though your brother sounds such fun to buy for...

[Esther Montgomery]

Some good things here. Money saving too - now I know what to do with bamboo thinnings. I wouldn't pay for a water-diviner. Isn't it just a forked twig? Micro-leaves - yes, could do that with left-overs in seed packets. I rather like the idea of cheerful seed markers. (If I had a jig saw I'd make them, but I don't.) Rather strangely, I can hear carol singers even though it's only half-past-three in the afternoon and light. I'm off to investigate.

Esther

[Arabella Sock]

I grew my own pet food once as a special treat for the puss babies. Cat grass! It grew long and lush in its little container but they both ignored it and ran outside and chomped my pennisetum and miscanthus instead. Such is the way with all presents...

[Dawn]

Karen - thanks so much. And please, let me know how you get on with your poo (see, there's no end of fun to be had there.)

Elephant's Eye - it is rather gorgeous isn't it? Still, it clashes with our own playuhouse so I'm making my own from old wine boxes.

Janet - oh yes, he's a joy! Definitely wise to have the 'no adult presents' rule.

Esther - you are a woman after my own heart. Obviously, I look at these things and then baulk at parting with cash for any of them. But there's nothing wrong with window-shoppping. By the way, were you seeking out the carol singers in joy or anger? I couldn't tell.

Arabella - I think 'such is the way with all cats' would be more accurate.

[JamesA-S]

Wax?
What sort of wax?
Candle wax?
Ear wax?
Wax for Depilation?
Styling Wax?
The 1980's band Wax http://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/bridge-to-your-heart/id348897937?i=348898177

I think I like to think he wants Sealing Wax for his more important correspondence.

[Metropolitan Mum]

Wax... I tripped over that too.
Love your list, especially the term 'destructive young gardener'.

[aikenjones]

Thanks for featuring forest pirate galleon, I like it.

[JamesA-S]

or moustache wax.

[Dawn]

James - Bees wax. He wants to put a first rate finish on the dining room table. Moustache wax next year as he's hoping to grow a DIck Dastardly version before he turns six.

MM - I now realise putting 'destructive' before 'young gardener' is as redundant as writing 'totally unique'. I mean, are there any other types?

Aiken - Glad you approve!