This week I have been spending far too much time worrying about particle sizes, silica content and British Standards BS EN 1177:2008 and BS EN71-Part 3. This is not fun. Which is slightly ironic as it should be. We are, after all, talking play sand.
Yes, the village play area which I was foolish enough to design is becoming a reality. As all designers know, it's that pesky reality that always messes up the plans.
Somethings are going swimmingly. We have a very large and impressive fort constructed by Fenland Leisure. It has a slide so tall and fast that all my children did an unscheduled forward roll when they landed so it's also excellent training for their BAGA level 4 (should such things still exist).
[As an aside, I think I might have got all my BAGA badges except the last which eluded me as I could never master the tricky flick flack. This also proved my undoing when competing in my one and only gymnastics competition as a child. I came last of all contestants, mostly because I had completely forgotten I needed to do a floor routine and had to make one up on the spot. Unfortunately, there aren't enough forward and backward rolls to fill 90 seconds - even if I put in a theatrical flourish after each that would have made Olga Korbut proud.]
The playground can also now boast a 10-metre-long willow tunnel, constructed by the lovely Richard from Windrush Willow, plus a couple of felled trees which can be used by the children as a natural climbing frame.
Unfortunately, the climbing trees were due to sit above play sand - not only a soft surface but also another play area for the children - and here's where the problem comes. 10 tonnes of 'play sand' arrived and was duly carted and spread over the area. Well everyone keeps telling me it's play sand anyway. I have been quoted its bulk density - both loose and compact. I know the percentage of particles retained by each British Standard mesh sizes. I am informed that its grain shape is mostly sub angular with some sub rounded and occasionally rounded. I even know it is lower Greensand of the cretaceous period.
I can also see that it is ORANGE! So unless we want all the local village children to look like they have been dunked in St Tropez, I fear we will have to replace the lot.
See - not fun at all.
Play sand used to be called silver sand and was a completely different texture: excellent for pouring and kicking in the faces of seven stone weaklings only any good for sandcastles when slightly damp. Yellow sand is rubbish as it will stain everything skin, clothes,hair everything.
Then the village mothers will despair of getting the stains out (in spite of what all major detergent manufacturers might say) and instead will look around for somebody to blame. The obvious scapegoat is the garden designer whom they will then imprison inside a big wicker sculpture and burn on midsummers day.
I know this for a fact because I once borrowed a really very nice T-shirt from an American male model without his knowledge. I then wore it to work in an attempt to impress the rather pretty client. We spent the day carrying bags of building sand from lorry to garden and as a result the right shoulder of the precious shirt looked, by knocking off time, as if it had been soaked in nicotine.Not so attractive.
The aforementioned American model was not pleased and, had he been in possession of matches, I might not be here to tell the tale.
Mind you, as it is a very long and dull tale that might not have been such a bad thing.
Posted by: JamesA-S | March 23, 2010 at 06:11 PM
oohh i love that willow tunnel!
Posted by: Scented Sweetpeas | March 23, 2010 at 07:22 PM
You've been tangoed? I remember the BAGA awards too, I don't think I got level 1 either. I'm loving the willow tunnel.
Posted by: Jo | March 24, 2010 at 11:51 AM
James - in future 'specifications' I shall make sure I say "Playsand: Must not be able to stain white T-shirts belonging to male models" - that would have solved all my problems.
SS - thanks - but guess what? It's already been damaged... I despair!
Jo - So pleased I'm not the only failed gymnast
Posted by: Dawn/LittleGreenFingers | March 26, 2010 at 03:48 PM
It's so frustrating, and so difficult to deal with, when people deny the obvious. We had a pipe which wasn't properly fixed under floor and clanked when we walked over it. The builder insisted there wasn't a pipe there so it couldn't clank. Then it cracked because it clanked and water from this non-existent pipe fell down through the kitchen ceiling and landed on the bread board. It took two men one whole day to repair the pipe, fix it in the right place and put the kitchen ceiling back up.
I wish I could have a go running through the tunnel. You say it has been damaged - not too badly to grow, I hope.
Esther
Posted by: Esther Montgomery | March 28, 2010 at 08:16 PM
That tunnel looks fab - I want to run through it and I hope it's not been damaged to badly.
I've just emailed you - thought I'd leave a message just in case I get snarled up in any spam filter you may have...
Posted by: VP | March 28, 2010 at 10:09 PM
Esther and VP - It actually got quite severely damaged on Saturday night. I have had to weave it back into place so, as you can imagine, it looks significantly scruffier now - and much less inviting...
Posted by: Dawn/LittleGreenFingers | March 29, 2010 at 09:38 PM
I absolutely love that tunnel. It won't like my stony, fast draining soil will it? I know this is true but I still covet it.
Posted by: elizabethm | March 30, 2010 at 08:26 PM
Ouch. You are evoking painful memories of the time I renovated our house. Somethings are just destined to go wrong.
And for the yellow sand: haha for the St Tropez kids. Maybe you should leave it. Just in case we'll have another very wet summer and you don't wnat the kids to go tan-less.
Posted by: Metropolitan Mum | April 16, 2010 at 08:31 PM